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HB   Hard Biscuits
Author  Bill Gasper
Cast: 7M/12W
Time: 1.5 hours
Set: Girls School
Script (Min 19 needed)$6.00Purchase
Performance Royalty
(1 needed for each performance)
     "This place is about as exciting as watching the grass grow,' is how one student describes the Eleanor Brisbee Preparatory School for Girls. That quickly changes when William A. Parker, the sole heir to the Parker family fortune, decides to enroll his daughter, Amanda, in the school as a means to protect her from a perceived kidnapping threat. This prompts Eleanor, the head mistress of the school, to hatch a scheme she believes will be the solution to all of her financial problems. She convinces her two gullible nephews, Larry and Harry, to nab the rich girl and "protect her" until she can collect a million dollar "reward."
     As Eleanor works to put her plan into motion, a local loanshark sends Louie and Sonny to the school to find Eleanor and collect a huge gambling debt. Upon arriving at the school, the two thugs are greeted by Mindy, a student who is on a mission to get better food at the school. She thinks Louie and Sonny are health inspectors and mistakenly sends them to talk to Freda, the cook.
     Meanwhile, two other students, Jennifer and Melissa, are hatching a scheme of their own to disguise and hide their boyfriends, Danny and Goof, at the school so they can all attend the annual spring dance. Further complications arise when the snobbish Kari and her two sidekicks, Liz and Heather, vow to get even with Mindy and Amanda for a recent prank, while members of the softball squad try to recruit one of the boys to join the team.
     Confusion reigns as the various groups set their plans into motion. In the end, Amanda disappears and William delivers the million dollar ransom, but the real culprit in this kidnapping caper turns out to be the person you least suspect.